locomotion

I do believe I have discovered why most marriages fail.  Or rather, why girls get married too young, or to someone who is completely wrong for them: resulting in a failed marriage.  I think it has something to do with dating boys in their 20’s.  Unfortunately for us lady-folk, we mature faster than our pre-pubescent-acting 20-something boyfriends, which allows for us to care more about the relationship we are in, investing more feelings and eventually getting seriously hurt.

 (This isn’t always the case though, of course.  I do know some extremely well-rounded 20-something guys who I truly believe are gentlemen to the fullest.  To name one: Everett Sullivan, one of my closest friends, who happens to be dating my best friend, Sam.  Being in the middle, I get to hear both sides of every story and I have to say, the most complicated thing these two have to deal with in their relationship is who should get the beer at a Jags game.  And their secret is respect for each other.  Everett respects Sam.  He genuinely cares about everything she does, is feeling, wants and needs.  And seeing the way he treats her is the only thing that keeps me from becoming a lonely old spinster.  Basically, he restores my faith in MAN-kind.)

But despite the rarities, most guys in their 20’s are simply useless.  I mean, even the nice, sensitive ones who appear to be oh-so-great are going to eventually hurt you in a  big way due to their selfishness.  But, you have to cut them some slack because it isn’t their fault.  It’s their overactive 20-something hormones. They, most likely, will grow up.  They’ll learn from the stupid mistakes they made in their 20’s, and even sometimes wish they could change things they no longer can.  For girls, we get to date these pathetic losers because they’re the only ones around and most girls in their 20’s still consider men in their 30’s to be “too old.”  

What I’m getting at here is that girls lose any hope they have in their 20’s about finding a great guy.  Their self-esteem gets crushed, hearts broken and all that’s left is a common hate for the man.  OH.  But that’s not the worst part.  The problem with all of this is that women will finally start dating a guy in their late 20’s, early 30’s who seems wonderful, fantastic, and oh-so-perfect that they have to marry them the first chance they get out of fear of losing this ONE perfect guy that they believe they can never find again.  No. No, no no, ladies that is where we have gone wrong.  You see, this guy that is “perfect” is still someone you have nothing in common with, doesn’t make you perfectly happy, and still makes snide comments about your weight.  BUT!  He seems perfect compared to the duds you dated in your 20’s.  The ones who were sleeping with other girls while you were at home waiting for them to get off work.  Oye.  So we marry the first guy who asks out of fear we will never find it again, only to be asking for a divorce three years later because, oh yeah, you are totally wrong for each other.

So, females of my generation: Please stop worrying about who you are dating, when you’ll get married, how quickly can you find the “perfect” guy.  Because to be honest, there’s a huge chance you’ll never find him.  Or that you’ll wake up one day in your early 50’s, after two failed marriages, and find your soulmate, like my mom.  I’m not saying I’ll never get married, though I have said it several times, but I’m saying that girls should stop making marriage a priority.  Because marriage is about as useless as a garbage bag full of dirt.